The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
