I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
