I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
