just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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