You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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