Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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