i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize