woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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