i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
