I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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