im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
