Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
