i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
