She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
