Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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