someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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