He is such a slut. More and more my type.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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