Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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