My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
