Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
