I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
