I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
