No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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