I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
