That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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