I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
