I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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