We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
