i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize