In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
