Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
