Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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