New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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