This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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