Are we in a gay sports bar?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
