I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
