Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
