The maid of honor just puked.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
