There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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