I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
