so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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