dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize