i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
