Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
