Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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