to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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