so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
