Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wanna go halves on a baby?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
