I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
