my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
