ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
