did you get engaged???
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
