This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
