Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
