I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
