that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
