This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
