Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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